Rule #7 -- Try not to be selfish

There has been quite a bit of complaining by the sisters this week, after they discovered that Tim is buying himself donuts every day, without buying them anything. Which isn't quite true, he did buy them things, just not donuts!

"It's not FAIR!"
"Why does he get to use the food money on himself?"
"He only buys things HE likes!"

Well, girls, life is not fair! As the keeper of the food money all these years, I fully admit to buying food for myself (Hello, Friday morning hot chocolate!), and there is nothing in the rules about not spending on yourself. The girls seem to have difficulty grasping that they, too, will be in full control, and can buy donuts for themselves every day if they want. The rules are the same for everyone!

On the other hand . . . try not to be selfish.

I had to add this rule after I found out that Tim was at the store with one of his sisters, bought donuts for himself and did not buy one for her! That seemed a little low to me -- he defends himself by pointing out that the sister in question was Sabine, and she really shouldn't be eating donuts; nonetheless, it wasn't too cool.

This is an unexpected lesson for me in the experiment. For one thing, I don't think Tim -- or any of my kids -- is particularly selfish. So, when the money started burning a hole in his pocket, and he realized he could get donuts every day, it was surprising that he didn't get treats for everyone. I think there may be an element of feeling like he is doing all the work and deserves a reward, and isn't that part of the human condition? In fact, we are raising a generation of work and reward children, a society that gives everyone a trophy just for showing up. 

For Tim, the donut is the trophy, and he is earning it for more than just showing up. He has quickly discovered that this is a hard job, tedious and never ending. While there have been many sighs, much eye rolling, and a few complaints right back at the sisters -- "I am getting slammed every night for my dinner choices!" -- he is doing the work, and maybe a donut a day isn't unreasonable.

On the other hand . . . try not to be selfish. Maybe buy a dozen next time.